Learning To Enjoy the Ride

Last week I hit a bump in the road, spiritually speaking. I was racing, as usual, toward my destination, full speed ahead. Hitting a bump in the road at high speeds is usually more troublesome than if you were to go over the same bump at a slower pace. If you’ve ever done this in real life, you know that the contents of your vehicle will be shaken and rattled and tossed throughout the interior. Well, now you have a picture of what my little head went through. 

The bump involved a glitch in my well thought-out plans about how I though my life should look in the next year. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, God laughs at my plans. And yet, He loves me. You see, my Father created me with a melancholic mind that is always turning, always thinking. If channeled properly, it can be quite brilliant, sensitive, creative, organized, articulate, artistic and in tune with the Spirit. On the flip side, the weaknesses of my temperament are over analyzing, perfectionism, worrying, over planning and generally driving myself - and everyone around me - completely crazy, especially when things are out of my control. God help us. 

I have some huge changes coming ‘round the bend in the next year. Think about it. A possible transitioning from beautiful Naples, Florida to an orphanage in rural Haiti is kinda huge. This has sent my poor little head into overdrive. I purposed to simply count the cost, but ended up over-analyzing, over-evaluating and over-thinking every little detail. From a systems-management point of view, I actually did pretty well. However, just when I thought I had my life and my future mission ‘all figured out’ ... BUMP!

Stormie Omartian, in her book, Just Enough Light for the Step I’m On, says this:

“(If you) suddenly feel like your life has come to a halt, don't be alarmed. Most likely, God is adjusting your way. Having God correct your course doesn't necessarily mean the one you were on was incorrect. But it does mean that something needs to change to get you headed in the direction God wants to take you.”

Again, one of my strengths, it seems, is to have deep communion with the Spirit. But I can also fall into the trap of having deep communion with my own thoughts.  God wants me to trust Him - not my mind -  with every detail, living a simple life of child-like faith. In His wisdom, God is doing what He can to rattle and shake me to make sure my life becomes a complete walk of faith, similar to that of Abraham, who “obeyed when God called him to leave home and go to another land that God would give him as his inheritance. He went without knowing where he was going.” (Hebrews 11:8) 

You see, in Genesis 12, Abraham was called by God to “go.” He wasn’t told where, he was only promised a blessing. So he left everything behind and went into the land of Canaan, a good land, possessed by a bad people, believing in God’s promises. Abraham was not given details, a plan or an itinerary. He just went. And God was faithful... 

This weekend I was talking to a dear friend. He is an obedient servant, whose walk of faith I admire. I looked to him for wisdom, burdening him with a million questions, and of course, details. I couldn’t see that I just needed to slow down and stop outstripping God by longing to do His will. He is the alpha and omega, after all. He is God. I need to learn that God did all the thinking and planning for me, before the foundations of the earth were laid. I need to just fall in line with what He is already doing and enjoy the ride. Apparently trying to help me out of my struggle, my friend broke it down to me this way, 

“God will show you. It is more like... take a step and God will be faithful. Take another step and God will be faithful....”

So simple. Childlike. And completely over my head. 

So today I fasted. I took a complete Sabbath from any activity. I slowed down. I took my foot off the gas. I didn't even get in the car. I stopped running ahead of the Lord. I stopped analyzing and trying to figure it all out. I simply rested in the Spirit. I enjoyed His presence. I got still...and realized He was God. 

Come, and let us go up to the mountain of the Lord,
To the house of the God of Jacob;
He will teach us His ways,
And we shall walk in His paths.

Micah 4:2